Hello …. How are you today?

This week, I’ve dedicated the topic of apathy to all of those who are worried about feeling bored at work and I’ll write about apathy in one’s couple asap.

Let's see if the image that’s coming to my mind on repeat sounds familiar to you. It’s Sunday at noon, you’re sharing a delicious meal with your family, the feeling of well-being and freedom you’re experiencing is enormous. However, as the sun goes down, you feel a knot in your stomach, the feeling of uneasiness swells up inside you, and your head fills up with the images of what Monday will be like. As you visualize how you get up and get dressed for work, your head and shoulders start falling forward with the resignation that you have to face a tedious, gray, and eternal workday. Does this sound familiar?

You can listen to the podcast with this player, or if you prefer reading you have a written version below. Enjoy it!

According to an article in Udemy for Business (link below) 43% of workers suffer from bore-out or “chronic boredom”, a word coined by consultant Philippe Rothlin and philosopher Peter Werder. This word most probably sounds familiar to you because it’s similar to the now well-known “burn-out”. However, they ‘re opposite words. Burn-out arises when after so much pushing, working, and making an effort, stress ends up making people feel squandered or "burned out". These people can’t bear anything else, they can’t cope with any more, and they suffer from exhaustion at levels that often turn into anxious states. In contrast, bore-out is the stress that people experience when they don't feel challenged, when they’ve been living in their comfort zone for a long time, and when they’ve become apathetic about what they have to do in their day-to-day lives. Bore-out can also trigger anxiety, sadness, and a lot of restlessness in those who suffer it.

One can offer a lot of advice to those who are bored and apathetic at work. Nevertheless, those who are going through those states won’t find any solution outside themselves but within. That’s why the first step is to recognize that one is suffering and the second is to ask for help to work on oneself. When my clients share these emotions with me, they often tell me that they want to slam the door and quit their jobs. Others tell me that they’re furious because they don’t only feel deflated at work but they also return home to collapse on the sofa. They don’t feel like sharing their energy with their family, and some get to the extent of wondering if they are in the right relationship. Now, I’d like to invite you to make a sacred pause and to take a deep breath together. Let’s become aware of something together. Although it’s much easier to project our frustration, apathy and boredom on the other person and on the outside world, our work begins by looking inside. What’s manifesting physically? What do I find difficult to express? What am I avoiding? What behaviors are perpetuating what I feel? What am I afraid of?

Mindfulness teacher Jack Kornfield says something great about this topic “Boredom comes from lack of attention. With it, we also find restlessness, discouragement and self-judgment. We get bored because we don't like what is happening or because we feel empty or lost. We can recognize boredom and let it be a state to explore". It’s key to investigate what’s going on inside. We might have given our power to those who sold us an idea of what we should be or do instead of honoring what we craved to do. We might have had no choice but to ignore the our inner calling out of necessity. We probably needed to put bread on the table, for example, and so, we didn’t seek what we needed. We might have been caught in the grip of perfectionism and control so, inaction took hold of us and we ended up choosing what was easier at that time. Whatever the case, the invitation is to dig inside to see that which is patiently waiting to be healed.

It takes a lot of courage to contact our vulnerability but that is where our gems reside. That act will make us vibrate high. Researcher Brené Brown tells us “Vulnerability is not weakness and the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional… (…) It is the engine of our daily life… (…) Being vulnerable is allowing ourselves to be seen, being sincere. (…) vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” Let me say something here, we can't go through life pretending everything is fine, telling ourselves “I'm bored but at least I have a job, others don't even have it, I have to be patient”. That’s false gratitude and contentment. It’s necessary to stop to see what’s making us suffer into their eyes to change our current situation. When the desire to reverse work apathy is greater than fear, curiosity, clarity and courage arise. When we take charge of our inner work, what’s happening outside becomes clear. Only then can we look for strategies for change. I strongly recommend seeking the help of a serious committed professional. If you‘re wondering whether you’ll be able to make it, the answer is a loud "Yes, of course, and you deserve it" The time to start is now.

I’ll round off with a phrase from my mentor in coaching, the great Tony Robbins, "The only impossible journey is the one you never begin”. I’m holding your hand, you can, you have the resourcefulness, you have the talent, you have the skill, now wake them up.

If you know a friend who might benefit from this, remember to forward them this message. Thank you.

A big hug ❤

Udemy Workplace Boredom Study (2016)