The Queen of Flow? š
Hello ā¦.how are you today?
Have you ever felt so inspired by what you were doing that you created things without stress or pushing? Thatās Flow, and I am officially certified as a Flow Coach to help my clients enter states where they flow with life.
Unlike the detailed description I gave you in other publications, I want to talk to you from my own experience and not just about the subject.
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The concept of Flow was developed by Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. He described it as
FLOW
āBeing completely absorbed and engrossed in our work. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous oneā.
The principles of flow are available to anyone who wants to increase their overall potential and live with an agile and fulfilling mindset. Magic happens in a state of flow because trust replaces fear and our potential is unlocked. Have you ever felt so inspired by what you were doing that you created things without stress or pushing? Unlike the detailed description I gave you in Flowing with life PART 1 and PART 2, I want to talk to you from my own experience and not just about the subject.
The Queen of Flow? #1
I havenāt exactly been the Queen of Flow, thatās why I decided to study the subject formally to put flow into practice with myself before using the techniques to help my clients. Iāve had few experiences with flow states so, they wonāt take up a lot of space in this publication. Most of them were hilarious. I remember one day that I went to an anthropological dance workshop. Our teacher played music from faraway places and asked us to move to the sound of the melody. Iām flushing as Iām writing this because while I admired how everybody moved strangely, I was terrified of making a fool of myself. This is the first obstacle in creating a Flow state. If you want to flow, you have to say goodbye to the fear of what other people might say and the fear of failure. Luckily for me, when I realized that no one was watching me, something took over me and I ended up spinning around and dancing without prejudice, without judging myself, and having a great time.
The Queen of Flow? #2
Something similar happened to me when I participated in a drum circle. We were more than 20 people sitting in a circle and we began to play percussion instruments little by little and intuitively. Suddenly we were all making music, our ears had sharpened up and we all contributed to creating a beautiful melody. The experience wasn't about perfection, it was about participation. I didn't know I could make music and yet, there I was creating it in a kind of trance. This is another element of Flow, forgetting about perfection and daring to challenge oneself a little out of our comfort zones.
The Queen of Flow? #3
Another comical experience I vividly remember is one day in my modern dance class. We were all dancing, and all of a sudden, I hear, "Georgi, we're done." I was so involved in the choreography that I didnāt notice I was alone dancing in the center of the room. My classmates had taken a break and couldnāt help laughing and neither could I.
ANTI FLOW #1: MY EDUCATION
All these experiences mark a total contrast with my upbringing and with my behavior most of my life. To give you an idea, I was one of the best students at University but I didn't enjoy it, I suffered all the time. I didn't sleep, I lived under constant stress, I ate badly, and I was always worried. My idea of success or achieving goals was associated to making a lot of effort and killing myself to meet my objectives. Winston Churchill's phrase āblood, sweat, and tearsā was used a lot in my house. Any small achievement was followed by a string of complaints about how much suffering it entailed. I think I inherited the false idea that if I had to push and sacrifice for things, they were more worthy and that being busy and overwhelmed was a good sign.
ANTI FLOW #2: MY debut as a mother
When my first child was born, it was very difficult for me to relax because I felt that I āhad toā go back to work asap. Therefore, I returned to my job quickly ignoring my needs completely. I worked all day without a break to get home feeling so exhausted that I couldn't enjoy my baby. Iām not proud of what I'm telling you, I find it terrible but itās time we came out the closet about these beliefs because we live in a crazy culture where enjoyment, relaxation, letting go and flowing are dirty words. We have to rewire our brain to adopt a growth mindset, to be mindful and flow.
Flowing little by little
I hit rock bottom with my health and I had no other alternative than to relearn the way I was living. For starters, I left my impossible parameters of perfection and I realized that my obsession to have everything under control was the reason I was getting sick. I accepted that I wanted to live and kill myself at work or in my projects. I allowed myself to do what I wanted and not what I was supposed to do. I started hobbies that I love and I went back to college because I craved for that second chance. I felt challenged by these new places but from a place of pleasure. Little by little, I understood that the quality of my life was directly related to the respect I had for my inner life. To that aim, I needed to dare do thing beyond āthe shoulds and have tosā. I started to do things out of joy, and I turned down the volume on my ego. You might be saying to yourself "but I can't afford that luxury". Let me tell you that I built a minimalist life, that I learned to live with less, and that even if your work is far from ideal and that you cannot change it now, you can try to have moments of the day and the week where you get into flow. If you are interested in the subject, write to me and Iāll be more than glad to tell you about my training and how to help you.
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