Are you resisting to continue living?
(A very personal article)
Hello …. How are you today?
This week's article is based my very personal experience, no less! By now, you’ve probably learned that I’m against wearing masks and speaking from a place of superior knowledge and having it all figured out.
As you know, I dedicate every day of my life to specializing in emotions, and how to get the most out of living with well-being not only because it’s important for my profession but also because it’s key for myself. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have setbacks, which may have serious consequences.
You can listen to the podcast with this player, or if you prefer reading you have a written version below. Enjoy it!
“I choose not to fight anymore, I choose not to have to be resisting in the trenches.”
I’d like to share with you a moment of total personal deregulation that led to a sprained ankle and a lot of self-inquiry to get back on track. As I told you this article is about resistance, and I'm sure you might share my feelings because I choose not to fight anymore, I choose not to have to be resisting in the trenches. I choose to accept my reality and gracefully flow with what happens to me every day. When I’m on the warpath with my circumstances, it feels like adding fuel to the fire. Whatever is happening to me just becomes bigger and more complicated to manage. Let's see if what happened to me has happened to you too (or if you’ve experienced something similar, of course) and how we can regulate ourselves to return to the center again.
I confess that….
I’m a naturally passionate person. I find it quite challenging to walk the middle path even though life shows me that I have to learn to tread it, and I must confess that little by little I am getting there. The truth is that if I like something, I’m keen on a person, or I commit to a task, I give it my very best and more. In football, people would say that I’m the type of player that sweats her t-shirt, I put my heart in my hand and I offer it completely to the person or commitment I have in front. As if this weren’t enough, I’m a multi passionate person– I love reading, studying, writing, socializing with family and friends, and working every week with my clients. However, giving my soul to everything I do sometimes makes it difficult for me to take care of my energy and to prioritize. And I’m covering my eyes now because I know I told you to do that. The truth is that when I overstretch, I can’t find the time and the space to do what nourishes and regulates me. In the end, staying grounded makes me a better person and professional. What a challenge at times, though! I think there may be something in common between you and me, and it's a fast paced lifestyle. All the hustle and bustle, often at great speed, sends our nervous system to fight, flee, or freeze. Our brain always responds like that to stress. Think about this, in the past, when our people didn’t fight, run, or hide, they risked their lives.
An everyday example
It is quite astonishing because with so much progress in science and technology, our brain still reacts as that of our ancestors who went hunting and had to defend themselves. That is the reason that such great brain activity in the face of perceived threats is adaptive. Our brain has one primary task- keeping us alive. The million-dollar question would be, why it is so hard for us to relax and enjoy a few moments of peace every day. As many of you know, we went on a family trip a few days ago. It was wonderful, with a lot of family bonding, and plenty of laughter. I must admit that I went on our Easter break feeling happy but with many unresolved fronts for my return. I literally left a pile of work and several gatherings for the time I was back. When we returned to Barcelona, I felt so overwhelmed that it felt as though my house was completely upside down, untidy, and with an empty fridge and I had many guests coming for dinner that night. I felt quite defeated and I blamed myself in silence. Instead of enjoying all the doors that were and are opening in my life, something contracted inside me and I began to perceive my situation as a threat. I’m putting both hands on my chest as I’m writing this while tears trickle down my face because I really had a hard time. Suddenly, I found myself suffering and resisting, quite a familiar place for me to live in the past.
An everyday accident
It's amazing how we have a tendency to crave things but when we finally have them, we feel afraid, or insecure, or we might even fear losing what we got. We are so conditioned to fight that when we have everything to chill out and enjoy, we sabotage ourselves. In my case, my body showed me how emotionally unhealthy my reaction was. Suddenly, my foot fell asleep, I didn't realize it, I got up, and without any control of it, I got a sprained ankle. Tears rolled down my cheeks, not only from the pain but also from the realization that I was unregulated. You might be wondering what I did, especially if you're going through something similar, right? I started with the basics and the simplest things. Before starting my day, I remembered to be grateful for my life, I forgave myself, I returned to my morning rituals, I simplified my schedule, I canceled my social gatherings, and as I believe in the Greater Good, I prayed, and as I know that my mother takes care of me from another plane, I asked her to hug me. I began to give myself permission to rest and to take care of myself consciously. I decided to have the clarity to do my best but not to leave my life in the process, which is my default response. After all, no one expects me to do that. I grew up in a family where everyone had very high parameters and where there was a lot of tension in the process but my history doesn’t have to determine my present. This is something that I have worked very hard on but in the world of emotions, our states come and go. The work makes us aware and helps us to re-organize ourselves, but emotional healing is a lifelong journey. The fabulous thing is that we are going to fall down but with we’ll know how to rise, we are going to get lost but we are going to understand how to find our path again.
Flow
By the way, one of the tools that is helping me is the FlowCode portal. When we’re in a state of Flow, we feel one with everything, we’re focused from a calm place, and we’re capable of doing and creating with complete confidence in the process. Here’s an article I wrote about Flow last week. I’ve told you that I’m Flow Coach myself and that I can help you. Write to me if you’d like to try and I'll tell you more.
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A big hug ❤