Mom can we talk?
Anecdote with my daughter (8)
- “Mom, can we talk?”
- Yes darling, of course. What’s up?
- “I don’t know, I feel weird when I go to school now"
- Really, why?
- “Mum, that is what I want to know ‘cause I don’t know"
- Well, imagine that this situation is like an onion, let’s take out layer after layer, OK? Tell me anything that comes to mind right now about feeling weird.
- “The thing is I feel very tall, most girls are shorter, much shorter than me, in fact, I’m taller than everyone"
- Well, being tall, short, medium size at this point doesn’t say much about what you and your friends are going to be like because childhood is a total growth stage. Now, if you’re tall now and in the future, it’s beautiful. Darling, beauty has a lot less to do with the outside and lot more with your inside. I understand you completely and we’ll return to this later. What else comes to mind?
- “I’m afraid of failing at tests, it’s strange, I’m worried"
- Ok, let's think about that, you’re now in third grade and things have changed academically, you’re a still a little girl but you’re no longer at kindergarten and you have more challenges. Fine, that’s ok, you’re a responsible girl. Try to relax, you’re doing everything that’s in your hands. That’s so fabulous, you do your best in the process and then try to let go of results. Do you remember when you told me you missed being a little girl a few days ago? I’ve always cherished your happiness, you’re a happy girl. Make room for playfulness in everything you do as you always have. Let the butterflies in your belly live with your joy. Try to have fun in what you do. You may need to relax at results at school and have more fun.
My daughter sighs with relief and hugs me. After our conversation, I kept thinking about my husband and I today. When did we stop having fun in the pursuit of our goals and objectives? It’s normal but we can still reclaim that joy that we lost on our way to becoming responsible adults.
“The conversation with my daughter put a mirror in front of me ...”
The conversation with my daughter put a mirror in front of me and made me see all the things that we left behind as life went by. So grateful for the eye-opener. May there be joy 💕