How to rise when life hits us
We’re getting to the last phase of 2020 and if anything, it’s been challenging. Covid’s made us pause suddenly, isolate ourselves, live with a lot of uncertainty, and accept losses that we didn’t see coming. Jobs and studies were forced to change forms or were directly canceled, finances have suffered some tension, friends have returned to their countries or towns of origin, loved ones have fell ill and others have passed away. Many of you my mother was one of the latter, and although I don't like to talk about it, I bring it up because it perfectly exemplifies the feeling of unease that saying goodbye to her brought about in a context of so much confusion, collective anguish, and social distancing, where we couldn’t even hold each other tight. And yet, here we are, chin up (sometimes not so much but we keep going), and trying.
Some call this processes resilience, others equanimity, I’m, looking for a simple word, I’d call it transformation. This year’s shown us that we have two alternatives in the face of catastrophe - either we collapse or we reinvent ourselves.
“The process of changing skin makes us grieve but in turn, it allows us to give birth to new behaviors”
What can we do to keep calm and how can we develop a new attitude? We can start by accepting what is, no one says it is easy but it’s important to recognize what we feel and let it move through us. This doesn’t mean that we’re going to rejoice in our pain, on the contrary, we’re going to observe it in order to attend to it. Then layer by layer, we can dive into our inner realm and ask ourselves “what does this want to teach me? What can I do to ease what I feel? How can I reinvent myself?”
It’s very important to remain calm to stay on one’s feet and to hear the voice of our internal compass. We can calm ourselves down through meditation, contemplation, deep breaths, walks in the open air, and being kind to ourselves, and that well-being that we are going to feel will little by little give rise to the need to take care of our physical body, eating healthily, resting and exercising. Today more than ever life is telling us that we need our complete being to rise. I hope that in the stillness of our pause, we find the courage to continue believing in life, to move forward one step at a time, and to dis-identify with what happens to us and start calling things by their name "I'm sad because my mother passed away ”but I am not a sad person. I have to take a mandatory vacation because my company isn’t doing well but that doesn’t mean I’m dispensable.
As a final word, I’d like to highlight that even in the midst of so many changes and losses, there are always reasons to be grateful, and that gratitude will open a huge space to make room for everything that happens in our experience. What is the inner work you can do within the tapestry of your existence? And I do hope this brings relief not only in this moment but in any situation where we face challenges and the unknown. A big hug ❤
Transform
Accept
Work on yourself
Calm your mind
Take care of your body
Dis-identify
Be grateful