A very personal post: my partner
Those who know me know that almost two years ago we moved from Argentina to Spain. For most people, including us, of course, such big transition brings about mixed feelings of joy, accomplishment and excitement as well as stress, anger and impatience.
When I post family photos, I get messages like "you are so great, look at you" And I think: "Logically, we look so happy but don't buy into the photograph please, there is so much behind the scenes".
This has been a time that for all the magic it’s brought it’s put as to the test. I must say, we didn’t always face those wisely from the beginning. Personally, I had moments of blaming and projecting my frustrations and insecurities onto my partner and since neither of us is perfect, we've argued, we’ve taken our distance and we’ve sought each other again. I think that what always keeps us together is the longing to be together.
I’ve also worked a lot on myself, I’ve tried to look at myself more, to make a U-turn and to dive deep into the realm of my emotions. "What are my projections on my partner keeping me from feeling?" "What needs my attention and inner care?" "What is the good intention behind all this in spite of our disagreement?"
“Love is not something natural, it requires discipline...”
I pause and the moment of calm arrives. I hold myself responsible for what I am. Somehow the other serves as a mirror of what we don’t like in us. The masks fall and the scars emerge. From that genuine place, I reach out to my partner to continue walking together. It should be noted that I also value my partner's work on himself, which is so comforting, because there is a true intention to grow and to love well. As the great Erich Fromm said: Love is not something natural, it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith and the defeat of narcissism.