The pursuit of happiness 👉 at work

Hello ….how are you today?

That job was easy for me and I had a great salary. Was I unhappy? No, on the contrary, I loved interacting with people. Was it enough? It was economically but spiritually, it was not. I wouldn’t say I was trapped but I was wearing a corset that limited what I could do.

What happens when you don’t feel in a cage at work but you feel frustrated any way?

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When I think of my clients, their stories are not so different from mine. None of them feels in a cage at work but many feel frustrated by some aspects of their job. I’m on their side for them to become self-aware first and to steer their actions based on that. Many times, they come to me thinking that they need to change jobs but in reality, what they need is to make changes on a personal level. When we discover a change is necessary, I support them to go get the job they want, of course. I guess this is similar to being in love. The other person isn’t responsible for my happiness, I need to be at peace with myself to enjoy the relationship. Work is a means to live well and we spend so many hours working that the conditions need to be favorable, there’s no doubt about that. What I wouldn’t like to do is to glamorize the idea that with X job, my life would be ideal or complete.

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

— Confucius

I understand the concept because I love what I do and I flow with it. However, I want to emphasize that there isn’t an ideal job out there where everything is perfect. You can love your job and still strive for your continued growth, for example. That will involve making an effort like getting up early or going to bed later. Many times, we enjoy what we do but we don’t like 100% of our co-workers. We will have days when everything goes smoothly and days when they do not.

📢 Mind you, in this conversation I’m leaving aside mobbing, mistreatment, and lack of proper attention.
If that’s happening to you, seek help to get out of those places as soon as possible.

Here, I’m focusing on the fairly generalized idea that I’ll only feel fulfilled when I get X job or when I change mine.

Example #1

I have a client, who is a business owner, and who fought for years against her job situation. She’s very good at what she does and she’s free from financial worries. Her internal struggle began because she studied something that she’s passionate about but that has nothing to do with what she does. After a lot of work on herself, she told me, “I'm here because I like the life I have. I’m very efficient at what I do and I haven’t been able to recognize it until now. I don't feel like giving up on what I’ve achieved. Now I understand that I earned the certainty, the significance, and the possibilities I have because I’m am worthy. That is my source of satisfaction. I didn't waste my time at college because it gave me the tools to do what I do now"

Example #2

At the opposite end of the spectrum, I have another client who worked for a multinational, who was recognized, and who also made a lot of money. However, she felt bored and stuck. Her work didn’t challenge her anymore and her growth had stopped. After some time of inquiry together, she told me, “I’m doing this because it gives me financial certainty and it gives me some degree of recognition. However, I never needed any of that. I feel alive when there’s variety, challenges, and adrenaline. I need to make a change." When she calmed down, she was able to see with clarity and accept what was happening to her. She then acted accordingly. She aligned mind and heart and she found a job of her liking. Today, she works at a start-up where every day is different and where she has to wear different hats at the same time.

The answer is inside you

I’m sharing these examples with you because as I always say, the answers are within you. The language of emotions is encrypted and there is no single path that works for everyone. Each one will find their way to stop idealizing what they don’t have and stop projecting outside what is actually connected to healing something inside. Do you know what the best part is? When you begin the journey towards your deepest self, you finally begin to listen to yourself. What’s beating inside you? Can you honor it? What would do you good? What do you need to nurture? Little by little, you start removing layers and you might discover that you aren’t trapped in your job. You might be afraid of risking your certainty and that may be essential for you. You might probably have bet on a predictable life but what you need is to feel butterflies in your belly. Whatever it is, it starts with you. You need to get to know and discover yourself, your mindset and your needs.

6 Human Needs

Tony Robbins concluded that we all share 6 basic Human Needs. These needs are:

1. Certainty/safety

2. Uncertainty/variety

3. Love/connection

4. Significance

5. Growth

6. Contribution

There are 6 needs in total but there are one or two that prevail in each person.

If you feel some discomfort at work, start by asking yourself what your needs are and if you are being congruent with them or ignoring them. Regarding this topic, you can read/listen to these posts where I talk about the 6 Human Needs 👉 Part 1 👉 Part 2

An example from the movies 📽️

In the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness”, we see how the main character, Chris, is bankrupt. He does his very best to change his circumstances out of love for his son and the need to grow. This story shows us key inner elements about Chris that influence his satisfaction. First, there’s his mindset. If he doesn’t know something, he learns it. When he falls, he gets up. Second, he doesn't listen to the “you should do”, he does what he “wants to do”. Then, he has unshakable faith in himself and life. He is grateful. Lastly, he’s in touch with what he feels and that is his compass. I cannot stress enough how these inner characteristics affect our lives for the better.

There is a scene where Chris gives his son a wonderful lesson that I would like to round off with:

“Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. (…) You want something, go get it. Period”.

Chris - The Pursuit of Happyness

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A big hug ❤

Thank you!