Can anyone explain what is that thing called Mindfulness?
Hello …. How are you today?
This podcast has been inspired by a client who told me, “I’d like to start practicing mindfulness in our sessions. It’s so fashionable nowadays that I’m intrigued”. I’m telling you this with a broad smile and sparkling eyes because when my clients ask me to dedicate some part of their sessions to Mindfulness, it makes my day.
Mindfulness is a millenary practice that has its origins in Buddhism, Zen, Yoga, and Hinduism. In the west, mindfulness became super popular because it was applied within a stress reduction program, which has been a benchmark of mind-body medicine recognized by the National Institute of Health of the USA and by Humanistic and Transpersonal Psychology, which is the one I have studied thoroughly and the one I commune with.
You can listen to the podcast with this player, or if you prefer reading you have a written version below. Enjoy it!
My experience with Mindfulness
As with so many other areas of my life, I stumbled into Mindfulness. About 14-15 years ago, I was going through a very difficult time in my life because the joy of having my first child was overshadowed by extreme fatigue and a severe inability to concentrate. I vividly remember looking at myself in the mirror and having huge dark circles under my eyes. Even though my baby son allowed me to sleep well, I got up feeling tired. I literally dragged myself through life juggling my little energy between taking care of my baby and working almost full time. I was sad, very harsh on myself, very worried about what people might say if I got distracted in my job and feeling tired all the time. I was low because I was unable to enjoy my son’s first months and because I couldn’t connect to my husband. My energy seemed like a little flame that burned very softly. I had tried to meditate many times since my twenties but I had the false idea that to that end, I had to suspend my thoughts and have a blank mind, which my monkey mind, found impossible. One day, out of pure chance, I saw a documentary on Mindfulness that had me at hello because the idea was simple and easy to apply.
Mindfulness, a way of life
I’d like to clarify first that Mindfulness is a way of life. The practice of daily meditation is very important to live mindfully but Mindfulness is much broader than meditation. It is about being present and observing our own experience without judging it. It is learning to live with unconditional love for oneself, noticing what’s happening to us in the here and now with a lot of self-compassion. One of the first things I ask my clients to do is to observe themselves. I ask them to notice their feelings and behavior without being harsh on themselves. The inner space that we’re able to open and expand when learn to observe our experience without reacting to it is impressive. In effect, another fundamental pillar of mindfulness is having the ability to pause before reacting with our old thoughts, patterns, and habits by default. This responsive state connects us with our most lucid Self, with our ancient wisdom, with the flow of life, and with love for everything that is. It also shows us when it is necessary to set boundaries and take care of ourselves.
An example: my past self
I was the one who lived at full speed juggling parenting, work, my partner, my physical activity, and my friends, felt attacked every time someone suggested I should slow down, undertake fewer things, or take time to rest. I reacted badly in snappy ways that weren’t very kind to the person who had made me those remarks. Now that I come to think about it, the one who made most of them was my poor mother, may she rest in peace. The speed in which I lived disconnected me from my true needs and I lived in a hyper vigilant state. I pursued achievement after achievement trying to stop life from hitting me in the face. Instead of living from the inside out, I lived from the outside in. When someone said to me, “aren't you overstretching?” I interpreted that as an attempt to cut my wings, to dominate and control me and that drove me crazy. Did I pause? Did I observe my emotions, sensations, thoughts? No, not at all. In fact, I always bragged about having quick responses. Mindfulness taught me that I needed to move slower than I used to because when I’m running from here to there, I disconnect from the present. When that happens, I start to live in the future. And the problem is that when my mind gets caught up in future imaginary scenarios, I tend to scare myself and that brings about anxiety and thoughts that have nothing to do with the truth.
Summarizing Part 1
I would like to summarize this first part about Mindfulness by saying that it is the ability to notice what’s happening to us moment after moment. It’s learning to bring ourselves to the truth of the present moment with love and kindness. Mindfulness is an invitation to embark on a path towards our innermost self, our inner wisdom and heart. When we’re able to be present in our bodies mindfully, we have greater discernment to attend to what happens to us both in our inner and outer world with kindness, affection, and courage.
I hope you liked this first part about mindfulness. In the second, I will share with you concrete mindful actions. If you know someone who might need this, forward it to them. This is a very simple way of building bridges to support and help one other. We also appreciate your recommendation and evaluation on any of the platforms that you are listening to us.
A big hug ❤