Goodbye to my perfectionist part (A personal confession)

Hello ….how are you today?

I always tell you that I'm a recovering perfectionist. I think I'm almost healed but sometimes this tendency makes its appearance and the podcast is not exempt from this.

This week, I’ve been inspired by my own experience to write about this especially because I had to make a decision regarding the weekly podcast. Stay tuned till the end where I will tell you what conclusion I arrived at.

You can listen to the podcast with this player, or if you prefer reading you have a written version below. Enjoy it!

Podcast’s creation process

If you're new to the podcast, you might not know that I started writing my weekly free subscription blogs more than two years ago. A few months later, my husband gave me a microphone to encourage me to switch to podcast format. It’s been quite an adventure to come out of my shell to share my knowledge and my experience and it’s been quite challenging to give my voice to the podcast. At the same time, seeing how new subscribers and followers jumped on board on the three platforms that this material is offered has been really rewarding. To be honest, the work behind content production is to say the least meticulous. I start toying with an idea, I take notes from my knowledge and experience, and then I do research on each topic in order to enrich the material and to be as objective as possible. That is done in the pre-podcast version, then the podcast is recorded, the audio is edited and a lot of other things that are related to audio editing and the web, which I delegate, and which makes it possible for everything to get to you every week.

My perfectionism and the podcast

I always tell you that I'm a recovering perfectionist. I think I'm almost healed but sometimes this tendency makes its appearance and the podcast is not exempt from this. How does all this translate into practice? When perfectionism kicks in, my notes are never ending because I want the podcast to include as much information as possible. I spend many more hours than usual doing research. When I finally have a version that I like, I spend excessively long hours writing it only to realize that it's too long, serious, and detailed. It's not easy to work so hard to have to do away with entire sentences and ideas that I love but I have to discard a lot of them to leave the most important concepts. I have learned to take a deep breath and start over if it’s necessary though. I know that it is not about offering something academic or boring but something lighter that can add value to you. That's when my perfectionist self gives in to the more compassionate and more mature self. The perfectionist in me grumbles a bit but the adult soothes her by validating everything she has been putting into the work. My wiser self usually reminds my inner perfectionist that this has to reach you and not the unrealistic standards that the she has set.

The weeks where the perfectionist takes over fewer and fewer. Most of the time, I’m super relaxed, I do some interesting work with a client or observe something in my own life, I take down notes, I read a bit more about the topic and in a day or two, voila, the podcast is ready. The key in me is to be calm, mindful, and connected to my body. If I just stay on my mental space, there is a rupture with my heart and my spirit. The writing doesn’t feel good enough and I become highly self-critical. To tell you the truth, the need to release the podcast shakes me when I’m in the trance of perfectionism and I become more pragmatic.

My perfectionist traits 🤓

I’m going to share some traits people with perfectionist tendencies have. See if they resonate with you:

1. Quality standards that are far from realistic
   I always insist on the fact on a scale from 1 to 10, an ambitious person can aim at 10. A perfectionist will try to do everything to get to 15 or 20. Too bad those numbers don't exist on the scale from 1-10 and the perfectionist has burned out to get there.

2. Fear of making a mistake
   I’d like to underscore the word fear. The perfectionist is afraid of making mistakes and of not passing a self-imposed exam. In addition, they are also afraid of the external world’s disapproval. Consequently, they can’t stand not doing things “perfectly”. However, every fall is an opportunity to learn.

3. Ruthless inner critic
   By this I’m referring to that inner voice that tells the perfectionist that they are a failure, that they are not good enough, that they are short of this or that quality, among many other things. This voice is terrible and it can discourage and even paralyze anyone.

4. Resistance to change
   Many times the very idea of ​​pushing beyond the known and risking not doing things “perfectly” scares perfectionists so much that they prefer to stay with the warmth of the familiar. Instead of diving into the creative process, they leave it for later, when the “perfect” moment arrives. As I have already said, the perfect moment does not exist. The important thing is to do one’s best, let go, and trust.

5. Victimization or feeling offended in the face of constructive criticism
   Perfectionism brings about a lot of stress. It is likely that when someone points something out about the perfectionist’s work, the perfectionist ends up feeling hurt and unconsciously starts playing the victim (How dare you with all the sacrifice I make?)

If you feel identified, try to treat yourself with self-compassion, with kindness, and start talking to yourself with the same love that someone wise and caring would talk to you. Try to be more flexible and tolerant with yourself. Little by little, you will overcome your perfectionism.

This is why I have decided to release the podcast twice a month. I’ve listened to my most lucid self and I have come to the conclusion that I’m going to serve you better by meeting every 15 days. I’m positive you will also enjoy being able to integrate the content with more time between every podcast.

I hope my experience helps you give yourself permission to be more human. Thank you for being there, thank you for helping me grow, thank you for pushing me to reflect and taking care of my well-being together with yours.

A big hug ❤

Thank you!